Talking with some dear friends and making bets of which will die first.
It's not really a topic that scares me. What I have lived I have lived
so keenly to live it, that death, for me, is irrelevant. I have always told my
loved ones to remember me for the life I had, instead of the death I
will have.
And this makes me think on a personal doubt that has arisen: Why
are most religious people so afraid of death?
It should be the opposite, because according to their beliefs, they are
about to meet their "creator" and to spend an eternity adoring him
(arse lickers). This I have seen and I know, in the hospital where I had heart
surgery, I saw adults crying because they could die (in fact four died in less
than a month) and praying aloud, and even trying to convince me to do the same
(which I kindly refused). Another time, a lady screaming like a maniac, asking
god (I refuse to use upper letter) to "that all goes well"
because she was about to have a surgery on the nose. Fuck! to annoy god for a
rhinoplasty!, when he is supposed to be very busy killing children of
starvation and AIDS in Africa .
Another example was when I was transferred from intensive care to
intermediate therapy after cardiac surgery, because that night a man who was
so, but so afraid of death that he spent crying and screaming at the top of his
lungs, "my god!
forgive me! forgive me!". The relatives of all the patients and
the patients themselves begging the doctors to sedate or anesthetize him, but
the doctors told us that they could not do it. The fact is that ALL the night
hearing the lamentations of the man, and there was a moment when I thought it
was enough, so I shouted loudly "My son, I am god, you are
forgiven!", but unfortunately with no results, so I put on my
earphones and slept lulled by music, while this son of a bitch cried all night
(and by the way, he died...).

